Does Goal Setting Reveal How Much You Love Yourself?
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Holy friggin’ cows batman.
I can’t tell you what a major learning and distinction this is in my life.
Today, I just became aware of how much noise and static I have encountered when it comes to building a business around a line of my own products. I wrote two books for McGraw-Hill but for some reason they don’t factor into my thinking.
A healthy ego and a strong dose of self-esteem is an important contributing factor to succeeding online or anywhere else for that matter. A plan, getting into action, and learning from the results are the other factors that lead to achieving ones goals.
None of these factors come into play when I am coaching, speaking, or facilitating seminars. Something is very different when I can speak directly to people and observe their reactions perhaps that is why I feel so much more confident in person.
Coaching Success
I have definitely succeeded in developing my coaching business, at least to a level that has allowed me flexibility and a comfortable lifestyle. I would definitely like to increase my income. Increase the amount, sources, and consistency.
I now understand how important it is to be more specific with measurable goals. Better to learn this now than never. A truly amazing revelation and learning for me.
Who said that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks? What they left out is that the dog has to be open minded and motivated. Whoa.
I was a scoffer and unbeliever as to the importance and significance of setting specific, measurable, and exciting goals. I think the fog induced by the fear of failure was a big blockage. I couldn’t see the significance at all. In a sense I was lying to myself in an attempt to protect myself from failure. Ugly stuff folks, time to move on and get into what I have learned and am prepared to do to move forward.
Setting Specific Goals = Internal Commitment + Loving Myself
What I see now is by setting a specific goal I make a personal commitment to myself.
I honor myself when I set specific goals. I demonstrate respect for my life and those that I love when I commit to those goals.
Where I got hung up was that I confused the goal setting process with ‘motivation’. What I totally missed was how powerful it is to have specific and measurable goals. Setting goals was something I do for myself. I saw goal setting as something I do for others - teachers, managers, and the like.
I felt people like my teachers, managers, or anyone else for that matter were trying to control and manipulate me to get me to do what they wanted. I never, ever saw it as a way to respect, honor, and love myself.
When I see my goals through the lens of loving, respecting, and valuing myself I feel free and totally open to getting down to the business of goal setting.
Not to mention the value of the goals as a tool to measuring my progress against.
Specific Goals = Accountability
Don’t misunderstand, I had goals and I helped my clients set goals. My personal goals were non-specific, not very measurable, and kind of gray. They were more like ‘had to’ than ‘want to’. In general, I did my best to mostly ignore them. Happy to trudge along in blissful (or so I thought) ignorance and let life take me where it would.
What a humongous breakthrough.
Now I need to sit down and get specific about what I want and then create a set of specific goals.
7 Comments on this post
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Dr Todd Fiegel said:
Hi Greg,
The fine points of goal setting eluded me for most of my life, even as a teacher (and of teachers, at that!) Like you, I knew what I was doing and what I was going toward, but when I started making clear, well-defined, and measurable goals — and also gained the discipline to check myself — productivity zoomed.
I admit this is not yet second-nature and I sometimes have to be reminded of the technique’s immense effectiveness. Reading your post brought it back to the front of the noggin and I appreciate it.
@DrTodd
http://www.TheAptitudeDoc.com
http://www.MapYourAptitude.comAugust 13th, 2008 at 7:57 am -
Greg Balanko-Dickson said:
Hi Todd,
Nice to see you here. It is so amazing to have discovered this now. Like they say, “When the student is ready the teacher will appear.” Guess I am ready. I wonder who coined that phrase?
August 13th, 2008 at 8:08 am -
Lorelle said:
So many people start off with what they think is a plan, when it really isn’t even close. It’s like an address written on a napkin. A lot of gaps in the directions.
You find the right road and plow forward with confidence, ready for the next landmark. Hmmm, should have seen it by now. Where is it? Was that on the right or left side of the road? What color was that? Um, did we miss it?
Without the specifics that give you the confidence to spot the landmarks when you find them, there is a lot of energy expended and wasted in the doubt and uncertainly. I’ve always believed in the specifics of a thing. The details. It’s the details that can bite you on the butt.
If you really aren’t clear about what you are after, how can you know it when you’ve found it? Or how will you ever find it?
Great point, Greg. Thanks for the mental reminder!
August 13th, 2008 at 2:20 pm -
Greg Balanko-Dickson said:
Lorelle,
I totally agree with:
“Without the specifics that give you the confidence to spot the landmarks when you find them, there is a lot of energy expended and wasted in the doubt and uncertainly.”
I have often said starting on a journey with a map or road signs along the way it is too easy to get off course. In our culture planning is mostly taken for granted and to a large degree counter-intuitive, especially when it is so easy to get started.
I sometimes wonder if we called it “building your vision” instead of planning or goal setting I wonder if we would see and feel differently about it?.
Would you get into a airplane with a pilot that didn’t know the area, without a map, and a flight plan? That would be foolish. Yet we do it everyday in business.
Lorelle, I really appreciate your insights, they remind me of things I say to my clients and now need to listen to myself and do what I say.
August 13th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
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